I had an incredibly hard time staying focused at work yesterday morning. I had so much work to get done and yet I could not help but check the Supreme Court’s blog every few minutes for updates. Would today be the BIG day? There were lots of random posts about random things leading up to the Supreme Court’s decisions for the day and then I saw the word “marriage” pop up on my screen.
I frantically called my coworkers over, and we all watched the screen trying to understand what was happening. I could not stop shaking. I honestly thought my heart was going to explode. It shocked me that I was getting this worked up. I had convinced myself that this decision would not occur in my lifetime, and yet here I was watching it live with two of my coworkers standing over my shoulder.
My reaction to the actual announcement (once I realized what was happening) shocked me as well. I cried. I guess I had given up on the idea of ever getting married. I know in my heart that I am fully committed to my partner, and I do not need an official license to validate that. So why did I want one now?
A few months ago I was out of town on a business trip. That evening in the hotel I started having severe chest pains. I thought for sure that I was having a heart attack and that some maid would find me slumped over on the floor in the morning. I called the front desk in a panic, and she proceeded to call 911. My partner was three hours away, and I was heading to the hospital in a strange town with no one beside me.
Thankfully it was not a heart attack but they decided to keep me in the hospital for a series of tests. My partner finally made it into to town and came straight to the hospital. Since I was in an observation unit, immediate family members would be the only ones allowed to visit me and get information from the doctor. I had always worried about this happening. What would I do in this situation? I made the decision to tell the staff the he was my brother. I know it’s a lie, but I did not want to be alone. I felt so ashamed and yet I did not see any other option.
The announcement yesterday means that I will never have to lie about my relationship again. It may seem petty, but that incident in the hospital changed my whole perception of same-sex marriage. There are many other reasons as well, but this one solidified it for me.
It rained yesterday in my hometown. It rained a lot! After the storm, there was a spectacular rainbow over the city. I have seen many rainbows in my life, but this was one for the record books. We were driving home, and people were actually pulling over on the side of the road so that they could take pictures of this phenomenon. I felt incredible peace and joy the entire drive home.
Once I was back at home, I logged on to Facebook and was blown away by the number of posts about the very same rainbow I had just followed home. The local news even posted pictures of it. The comments about the rainbow were as diverse as the colors it displayed.
Some saw this as a sign of God’s approval of the Supreme Court’s decision. Some saw it as a sign of God’s coming wrath on a country that has turned from His law. Some simply saw it as a refraction of light in water droplets and thought everyone was reading way too much into it.
It intrigued me that so many people could have such opposing reactions about the same rainbow. The crazy thing is that it appeared to comfort those on all sides of the spectrum. How could this be? Is it possible that God intended to do that? Could it be that God loves us despite our differences? Parents do it all the time with their children. My mom and dad love my brothers just as much as they love me, and we are DEFINITELY different individuals.
Surely God’s love surpasses that of our parents. It has to break His heart to see so much division and rage. Social media was full of words like “war” and “hate” yesterday. I know we will never see eye to eye on every issue, but surely there is some connection we can find.
Kermit the Frog said it best in a song from my childhood:
“Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.”
God created us ALL in His image. Maybe that’s the connection we so easily overlook.
I plan on working harder to see others through God’s eyes. I plan on treating others with the same dignity and grace that I desire for myself. I plan on loving my neighbor.
I have many plans for the future. Now, thank God, I also have a wedding to plan.